Orangutan: ooh, ooh, ooh! Grunt

Or at least, that’s what Orange might as well have said. Remember Keith’s rant about o2? Well, Orange’s customer services really are much “brighter” (as the adverts say).

Let’s just say that the voice messaging and answer-phone on my mobile phone is completely screwed and I’ve made several attempts to get it fixed.

Here are some of the top pieces of advice and explanations given by Orange customer services as to why voicemail and the answer-phone stopped working:
1. Dawn 4th Oct: “…sometimes the way that your answer-phone is stored on our computer can get dust in it. Don’t know what triggers it, but I’ll take your answer-phone off the computer completely, and then put it back on again. Hopefully, there won’t be any dust…”

2. Steven later on 4th Oct: “…what I can say Miss Taylor is that I am able to advise in so far as and in as much as [is his surname PRESCOTT by any chance?!] is that it’s because you’ve got an old phone number. When you’ve had a number for a few years, as you have, the answer-phone can fail sometimes with old numbers, Miss Taylor….urgle babble hewwwwwwwugh…”

3. Steven even later on 4th Oct: “…you say some of your test voice messages have come through now, but some haven’t? Well, all I can advise is that I can’t really answer that question, except to say that the only thing I can think of is that you’ve deleted the message without realising….” (hmmm, accidentally delete a message that hasn’t been received? Transfer to supervisor…)

4. Pam later still on 4th Oct: “…when you’ve listened to a message and deleted it, just wait a couple of seconds before you hang up. Don’t press ‘delete’ and hang up straight away, cause that can sometimes trip your answer-phone, but just wait two seconds first before you hang up and it should be ok…”