We’re going tomorrow, I believe. Leamington Spa. Or, as the website would have it, Royal Leaminton Spa. I can already hear the ‘mwah’. And don’t you love the tagline – “Royal Leamington Spa – the fashionable experience”. What?

Also encouraging is the what’s on section, which starts well with news of a recent peace festival which apparently attracted 10,000 people. Slightly less encouraging are the remaining items on the list, which include “Leamington salaries in top 10”, “Where can I find a parking space?”, “Car park availability” (hmm) “Mixed priority plan set for discussion” (more car parking) and the resumption of free town guides at 7.30pm. Not an encouraging sign in my book, when over 40% of the funky entertainment options revolve around parking spaces.

Taking soundings from work provoked such comments as “like Bath”, and my personal favourite “where middle class Solihull people go on Sundays/shopping”. So we shall see. In its defence, Harrogate is similarly “mwah” and full of tedious biddies ambling between the Volvo and Betty’s tea room but its got some decent enough boozing venues. I’ve always had enough blank spaces in my short-term memory to conclude I had a good time, anyway.

Full report to follow, if I’m not lynched by a gang of 2.4s or ran over by a range rover.