Back from France – more on our visit to Reims shortly. First, a quick rant on the subject of the Stansted Express. It isn’t. The Stansted Express is a supposedly rapid train service that runs between Stansted Airport and London Liverpool Street station, calling at Tottenham Hale on the way. It takes about 45 minutes from Liverpool St.

Except that its a train, a British train running on British track. So its knackered, and at weekends they replace it with a bus service so the railway “”engineers”” can carry out the important job of drinking milky tea in a siding whilst buggering up everyone’s travel arrangements. Grrrr.

They don’t remind you that there’s no train service on Saturday or Sunday as you’re handing over £38 for two return tickets on Thursday, even though they do ask when you’re returning and seemingly listen to you say “Saturday”. Grrrr

They don’t offer you a refund or discount on the usual fee (the £38) in the light of the inconvenience (the bus doesn’t stop at Tottenham Hale) and longer travelling time. Grrrr

They lie they lie they lie.

me: How long does the bus journey take please?

MSSEWOS*: About an hour – 55 minutes or thereabouts.

* MSSEWOS=Mockney Scum Stansted Express Waste Of Space

55 minutes when? At 4am after a bomb alert sometime on New Year’s Eve, maybe. It took us 1hr45. Grrrr.

ACT OF GENIUS! Yay. A rail replacement service to a station which isn’t working at the weekends either due to maintenance works. Woo! Well done!

Half Man / Half Troll

went to see Bill Bailey at Wyndhams Theatre last night (made returning to work yesterday morning sth to look forward to anyway).
He was funny.
We laughed a lot.
Til our faces really ached.

Newsnight? News-shite, more like

What an absolute load of crap news programmes are becoming. From this evening’s Newsnight segment on the tube derailment from Friday:

Despite Friday’s derailment, there has been no reduction in Londoners’ desire to travel

Well, wow. THAT’s news. “no reduction in desire to travel”. Of course there hasn’t been a reduction, you jelly-brained incompetent. People still want to travel. They just cant ‘cos the tube is completely borked and the idea of additional bus services is a joke – there’s barely enough space on the roads for the services that are currently running.

Can you imagine this idiot reporting on the war in Iraq? “A substantial reduction in the Iraqi forces’ desire to live” – lots of dead soldiers. Pillock.

US press reveals ground breaking, earth shattering NEWS

The British are “notoriously skeptical” and “can be uncomfortable with ambition and disparage people with high aspirations” according to the US media. What a misrepresentation!

One such person with “high aspirations” being David Blaine in his attempt to gain over $1m, all in the philanthropic cause of a learning experience to push new boundaries and understanding for the betterment of mankind. Any Brit watching the broadcast of this talented soul finally leaving his box over the River Thames after 44 days, couldn’t fail to be moved and wipe away a tear or two. Even those who didn’t initially support Mr Blaine must surely have been converted after such a heroic achievement? Those 44 days were well spent on rehearsing and perfecting an exit speech of emotional theatricality to outshine even the most sensitive of Tom-Hanks-accepting-an-award-on-Oscar-night displays. His popularity promises to grow even further once the fees for the police crowd control and ambulance emergency services are deducted from his gains. Unless the egg shortage continues of course.

This, of a nation who is today coming to terms with Paul Burrell’s revelation: that Diana suspected (several months before the plan was realised) that there was a plot to kill her in a car accident. Our lack of skepticism is evident in our sympathy with poor Paul who was too distressed to share this information for over 6 years.

Cynicism? Whatever do they mean?